


Frog Song

by dezolis



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Gen, Humor, Status Effects
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-29
Updated: 2018-10-29
Packaged: 2019-08-09 08:23:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16446281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dezolis/pseuds/dezolis
Summary: In which the monsters of FFXV still have the ability to turn the chocobros into frogs, but their clothing doesn’t go with them. Because that’s just silly.





	Frog Song

**Author's Note:**

> Pro-tip: Never try to have a “serious” discussion on how status effects work in RPGs. You might end up with something like this.

“Don’t breathe!”

On one hand, that sounded like really good advice to Prompto. Of course, every command Ignis gave sounded like good advice. Even when they weren’t super articulate like that one. The accent sold it. And yeah, that cloud of whatever that the snake lady daemon thing was spewing out did not look like Good News.

But on the other hand, he had just finished doing a pretty sick flanking maneuver with a heavy ass piece of Magitech that, unfortunately, totally had not had the daemon killing effect he was going for, so not breathing was going to be a little hard for Prompto. Hell, not collapsing to the ground in exhaustion was in the difficult column.

He had to try. The guys depended on him. He covered their backs while they went in for the close kill. He was the sniper clearing their path. The sharp shooter picking off the enemy weaknesses and giving his allies an opening. The…

Wait. Where the hell had everybody gone?

Snake lady daemon thing was still trucking. She wasn’t doing a whole lot besides thrashing around which Promptly was immensely grateful for. It meant she wasn’t thrashing him and it gave him a chance to see where the guys had taken cover.

Except there wasn’t any cover to be had. This part of the cavern was wide open. Maybe Noct had warped someplace odd but Iggy and Gladio had no place to go. 

“Uh, guys?”

Nothing but daemon screeching. They wouldn’t have retreated without him. Never, no matter what that niggling voice in the back of head liked to claim. His anxiety was a squeaky, persistent bastard. Prompto told it to shut up as he stealthily made his way around the edges of the cavern, scanning the ceiling for a dangling Noct or any other sign of the guys. A half circle around the daemon and he had the voice mostly silenced except now it was making a low croaking noise instead of telling him he was useless. That was kinda weird.

Nope, the croaking was some frogs. A trio of frogs frantically hopping out of the daemon’s way and around piles of some very familiar looking clothes.

It was a unique feeling, being torn between busting out laughing and mortal terror. It didn’t help that his urge to photograph was rising either. Like seriously, how much would that Vyv dude pay for photos of the Prince of Lucis, his shield and his advisor after they’d been Kermited by a daemon anyway?

_Come on, man, keep it together_. These were his bros, his comrades. He had to find some way to help them, not indulge in hilarious and/or potentially lucrative photo ops. Prompto doubted he could finish the daemon off solo so he shifted to rescue mode. Ignis had lectured everybody about the various status effects monsters and daemons could inflict before they’d even left Insomnia and Prompto had mostly paid attention until that King’s Knight notification had beeped on his phone. In the moment, the choice between a limited time raid with his friends list and sagely advice that could be repeated at leisure seemed like a no-brainer. And he had gotten some sweet gear from that raid. He’d just forgotten to have Ignis repeat the bits he’d missed.

_Make up for it later. Do something now_. Getting his friends the hell away from the daemon seemed like a solid course of action. Prompto had kept quiet enough that the daemon had apparently forgotten about him so he kept to that tact. He crept frogward, keeping low to the ground and using his softest voice to coax the guys towards him. It occurred to him that Frognis was actually kind of a neat nickname and maybe Toadiolus would work but he couldn’t come up with anything for Noct and it was a totally moot point anyway because time and place and being super disrespectful and stuff like that. Still…

“Hey Frognis. Hey Toadio. Noctpole? Pollinoct? Your name is no good for this. Come here, little guys. Prompto’s going to find a nice pond for you to play in.” It was the same spiel he’d given the frogs they’d hunted for that strange scientist lady and while he was sure it had zero effect on the frogs, it kept him calm and steady. Which was great because he was getting real close to the daemon. 

In short order, he scooped up the frogs, waited until the daemon turned in one direction and then hauled ass the opposite way. He was about to turn a corner when a info nugget from Ignis’s lecture popped into his head. Most status effects were of “limited duration”. Which meant that they wore off. Which meant that, with a poof a fog similar to the one the daemon had used to start this whole mess, Prompto was suddenly dropped to the ground under the weight of his three one hundred percent human friends. Human and naked friends.

Noctis, on top of the pile, gave the best summary of the situation. “Uhhhhhh…”

“The toxins released by daemons can have transformative qualities. They usually take the form of pertification but I think this daemon’s was more amphibious in nature.” 

It was impressive how, even stark naked and extricating himself from a tangle of limbs, Ignis could be so dignified. Prompto would compliment him as soon as Gladio got off his chest and stopped compressing his lungs into pancakes. Thankfully, Gladio was quick to get onto to his feet. Unthankfully, how and where he stood over Prompto was giving the younger, smaller man a view that was impressive as it was uncomfortable (and, as his anxiety ever so helpfully chipped in, insecurity inducing) and raising some questions in Prompto that really did not need to be addressed right now. 

_Please let it be the only thing that it raises._

At least Noctis seemed to appreciate how awkward this situation was. He was doing a strategic hand placement routine while trying to look as nonchalant as Ignis and Gladio and not being terribly successful at it. “Thanks for getting us out, Prompto, but if it happens again -”

“Get the clothes too. Got it already.” 

“Yeah,” Noctis continued. “So about getting them back.”

“Not a priority,” Gladio insisted. “We need to take that thing down to get into the tomb. Can’t waste time for modesty.”

_Says the guy who spends ninety-percent of his time shirtless and the world thanks him for it_. 

Ignis agreed with Gladio and quickly devised a strategy which minimized potential frog fog exposure. He and Gladio would hit and run while Prompto kept the daemon distracted from range and Noct cheesed it with warp strikes. And so began an epic fight that Noct made everybody promise they would never, ever speak of again.

Watching it in action from the fringe, it was kind of awesome to see. For the precise movements and coordination, of course. Ignis was always speed and grace with his daggers anyway so he wasn’t doing so much new except for the whole naked thing but Gladio was another story. He was generally more on the lumbering side with a moveset that consisted of using a big sword to beat things really hard - _oh, god, phrasing_ \- so seeing him swoop in, deliver a blow and dash out was pretty cool. Like, deserving of being documented cool. For the aesthetic merit. Using the black and white filter would just be downright classy. If, you know, it wasn’t creepy and wrong and there wasn’t a big old daemon in need of being riddled with bullet holes. Prompto pulled the biggest gun he had ( _which was not compensation for anything you stupid voice, so don’t even start_ ) and got to it.

It took awhile but the daemon fell, clothes were gathered, and victory high fives were shared.

“Let’s never do that again,” Noctis said. 

“Indeed. I suggest we look into the accessory selection at our next stop to prevent further mishaps.”

Noctis went ahead to unlock the tomb door with Ignis right beside him. Prompto was going to follow but Gladio held him back. 

“Didn’t get any photos, did you?” he asked.

Prompto attempted a causal laugh that came out as a strangled snort. “Yeah, right. Like I’d even think of taking any shots, with, you know, the, uh, situation.”

“Damn, and I thought I must have looked pretty badass out there too. Wouldn’t have minded seeing proof.”

“Yeah, okay. Sure dude. Next time you get transformed into a frog and have to finish the fight buck naked, I will snap away.” Prompto honestly did not know what was worse. That this was an actual conversation he was having, the absurdity of the promise or that there wasn’t a non-zero chance he’d have to honor it. They did get into to some pretty weird shit.

“Just be sure to get my good side,” Gladio laughed and then went into the tomb too, Prompto trailing after and wondering if he meant his front or his back. Mental pictures flooded into his head to argue for one or the other.

So as Noctis received a sacred weapon of his ancestors to aid him on his quest to avenge his kingdom and defeat the darkness and lots of other super important crap, Prompto marked the solemnity of the moment by contemplating if there was an accessory you could buy that would stop you from dying of embarrassment.


End file.
